We Will Sound Strange to the Future

“People in the past had a strange way talking.”

And that’s precisely what people in the future will say about us.

We eat hot dogs that contain no dog, and hamburgers that have no ham. Buffalo wings are not made from buffalo (who don’t have wings anyway). We drink white wine that’s actually yellow (and it comes from white grapes that are actually green). We refer to red states, blue states, and green energy. Depressed? You’re feeling blue. Envious? You’re green with it. Silverfish aren’t fish, and the titmouse is a bird. A yard is three feet but people’s yards are larger than that. We store information on clouds that aren’t clouds, and store energy on a battery that means something different when paired with the word “assault”. A chip can be eaten, played in poker, happen to your tooth, or used in a computer. A person with the right drive can train to drive a train; can bus a table or ride a bus; watch a fly fly; and witness a plane from this dimensional plane land on a plain-looking plain. If someone flips you the bird and gets your feathers ruffled you can tweet about it. A hit can refer to an assassination or a highly successful product. Someone who “passes” has succeeded at a test, forfeit a turn, driven around you, or died.

I take a degree of comfort in knowing that we’ve always been strange.

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